Eulogies are tough.

Since publishing Holding Space: How to Show Up Before the End — Even When Your Heart Is Breaking, I have been actively working on the rest of the series, which I plan to release over the next year or so. Book Two was always meant to be the eulogy book, Holding Space: How to Write a Eulogy (That's Honest, Human, and Maybe Even Funny), and it will be.

But finishing it has been more challenging than I expected.

That surprised me.

I have been writing eulogies and helping people prepare them for more than ten years. I have created shorter resources to help people get started. I know the mechanics. And yet, sitting down to write a full instructional guide has been unexpectedly difficult.

The reason is simple.

There Is No One Kind of Eulogy

When you write a eulogy, you are trying to do many things at once.

• You want to honor the person you lost.
• You want to convey who they really were.
• You want to share something meaningful without oversharing.
• You do not want to embarrass yourself or your loved one.
• You do not want your words to be forgettable.

And while delivering a eulogy is often described as an honor, it is not something anyone is excited to do. Most people step up despite fear, grief, and nerves — not because they want to speak publicly, but because love asks them to.

That matters. The emotional weight is part of the work.

Writing for Yourself and for Everyone Else

Writing a eulogy is personal because of your relationship with the person who died. But it also has an audience — real or imagined — to contend with.

• Family members.
• Friends.
• Coworkers.
• People who knew a different version of the person than you did.

That awareness can make writing feel heavier. You are holding your grief while trying to be mindful of everyone else's. It is a lot to ask of someone who is already hurting.

The Question of AI and Modern Eulogies

One of the unexpected challenges in finishing Holding Space: How to Write a Eulogy (That's Honest, Human, and Maybe Even Funny) has been how to address AI.

You cannot ignore it. People are already using it, and in many cases, it can be genuinely helpful.

My earlier advice was usually to start with an intake form or a full brain dump. Get everything out first. Then shape it. That advice still holds.

Now, though, you can take that brain dump and use AI as a tool to help organize, reflect, and refine what you have written. The important word there is tool.

Before you let AI take the lead, you choose the stories. You decide what feels right. You pick what belongs in your eulogy and what does not.

• AI can help with structure.
• It can help you find words when yours feel stuck.
• It can help surface themes you might not have noticed.

Start With the Human Part

Whether you use AI or not, the starting point is the same.

Do not worry about order. Do not worry about polish. Just get it out.

And then, before anything else, you decide which stories are best for you — and which stories are best for the eulogy you want to give.

There Is No Right Way

If you want to go old school and write without AI, that is great. If you want to use modern tools, that is fine too.

No one gets to tell you how you should grieve. And no one gets to tell you how you should speak about someone you loved.